I like many people have been a fan of Dragonball/Dragonball Z for a while. Unfortunately for a lot of people such as I, we can't speak nor read Japanese to any great extent. The solution? Translations! After many countries had received the anime, North America was finally to be among their ranks, sort of.

There were a couple of big roadblocks in the way before we could see little Son Gohan figurines and Majin Buu marshmallow bars. First of all, it was doubted that children would want to read subtitles so they had to get new voice actors for the show. Second, Japanese and American cultures are two VERY different things so Dragonball had to be adapted so that they wouldn't be harassed by droves of members of the PTA. While tackling these roadblocks, loyal fans to the show were angered and starting making crummy pages with lame comments and...next paragraph!

The voices for the dub are for the most part terrible although I think that my opinion on the voices was somewhat biased in the first place. They're not as good as the original because they don't fall into the categories I've divided the Japanese voices: great for the character and just plain great.

The first category includes people like Gokou, Kulilin and Bulma. Goku is has a very silly and light-hearted voice that becomes threatening at will and is good at expressing pain when hurt. Kulilin's voice isn't very serious either and has a certain geekiness to it, which fits him so well. Bulma is the world's biggest bitch which pretty sums up what she sounds like.

The second includes Vegiita, Piccolo and Freeza. Why they're great isn't something I can quite explain. It's like saying why chocolate is so tasty. I think it might be because they sound normal as opposed to over-actors. Who really actually talks with a voice like the ones in the English dubs anyway?

In an attempt to be fair I've decided to list the up sides as well. Considering the ignorance of FUNimation altogether I don't think they did too bad. At least Gokou doesn't sound like Superman. Maybe the voices are ok but they pale in comparison to the original. We've just been spoiled (orange juice and Tang).

Some of the edits aren't entirely FUNiamation's fault but to make them look a little better I'll save the good stuff for last. As everyone pointed out, the next dimension is mind bogglingly stupid but I can't say anything that hasn't been said before so I'll leave it like that. I think that the main reason a lot of stupid edits, as I said before, are made due to ignorance on Funimation's part. I sometimes wonder if everyone, or anyone for that matter, has actually seen or read Dragonball. It really makes one wonder when you see Gokou shooting a "Kayoh-ken". My solution for the problem would be to have a fan of the anime go over there to work and straiten things out with the staff. Anyone willing to take the job?

The artistic talent is gone from Dragonball as well but I don't think that any of the people watching the show for the first time are going to care, which is kind of sad. The problem is that America is in such a rush that the quick, fast-food approch is accpted which I don't believe it should. Another thing is that the target audience consists of little boys who want to see something die or get maimed this Sunday morning. Another problem with Amercain culture is that children just aren't as enlightend as Japanese ones are. They enjoy death and destruction over a good storyline and have such a short attention span it's amazing. Heck, that goes for a lot of Amercains. Sorry to all those I may have offended with the last paragraph. I'm not saying you people are stupid or anything, how would you be one of the richest countries then? I don't accuse you guys of being violent hicks either. I know quite a few Amercain people and they're very nice. I think I'll go on before I say anything really offensive.

A lot of the nudity and swearing had to be removed from Dragonball as well which is the fault of not FUNimation but uncaring, unattentive parents. These people just sit their children in front of the TV using it as a babysitter and when something goes wrong, they blame the show. What the hell is wrong with you people? No wonder the world is in such bad shape, no one cares. If parents would sit down and see what their cildren watch and discuss it with them or even better, limit what they watch. It's my "Howare Stenn" thoery: if you don't like it, don't watch it and don't let your children watch it. Don't ruin it for the rest of us.

In the end, is it worth bringing the show here? I have two views on this. The first and prominant one says that they should have known it as just one big cash cow instead of the entertainment the original brought us and that it should be left alone if it has to be changed to the point where it's just not as fun. On the other hand, when you see the large audience the show has one thinks of the possibilities. It could be the first big step in bringing anime to North America and have it be a hit. I would love to see Neon Genesis Evangelion after the X-files.

One interesting yet unplausible solution is to take the original show, subtitle it, and put it on later at night where they could get away with anything. I've seen the Simpsons nude, profanity on NYPD Blue and Oz makes Dragonball look like a American children's show. Unfortunatly, I don't think the show would bring in enough dough for it to be worth it for the stations, at least that would be what they think.

I'd like to say more (good god!) but I'll refrain with one final note: the target audience is supposed to be young children but if we can get enough older english viewers to show that we can handle this, we might be able to get our Dragonball back. For now, let's blame the three evil groups. Number one is FUNimation for being in it for the money and just being idiots sometimes. Number two are all the complaining parents and so forth that have made Americain socicity what it is. Finally, number three is us for being so helpless and just sitting around writing stuff while we are being dominated. Thank you.

- Spamdini
<spamdini@hotmail.com>