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I was, or I should say still am, in the sad position of having to eat the
scraps off of the rest of the world's Dragon Ball Z plates. I had seen
Dragon Ball Z on Cartoon Network and I thought that there wasn't any
more to DBZ than what I saw, yet, when my family got the Internet I was eager to look up Dragon Ball and when I did I found the truth... excuse me,
there's, something, in my eye. ( Oooh, good one!)
I've composed myself now, as I was saying, I had found only recently
(which is months for me) that what I saw on CN was hardly a shadow of what everybody else has the fortune to experience. I'm not one to practice self-pity, but I can't help it, not in this case. I now know what they mean when they say "ignorance is bliss", because I was happy before I saw truth. I saw the real McCoy on the International Channel one Sunday and I was jettisoned into another realm of unimaginable depth and realism. Not anything like the vomit-like material that I watched before. At first, I admit I didn't like
it, I even called it "Faggot Ball Z", mainly because EVERYBODY sounded like a whiny little girl! I'm used to it now, and I call it by it's real name, so don't come peeling the skin off my forearm and dipping the bloody mess in a solution of lemon juice, salt, and vinegar, oh... I'm gonna hurl...
MOVING on, I feel so helpless to stop this atrocities that more than equals the horrors of Vlad Dracul Tepes of Romania (known as Vlad the Impaler, look it up if you don't believe me.) They turned this masterpiece of
the human spirit for life and adventure into just another capitalist
American plot to make money off the mindless populace... All the emotion and raw power you get from the musical scores, or from the utter and complete silence is shattered by the annoying digital abomination they fill it up with.
I wish there was something I could do... there are so many people who
just don't know the exhilaration, the adrenaline surge, the pure thrill you get when you see it for the first time, it's like "Wow, this is what people keep talking about, I can see how you can get addicted!" If I could get one person to experience Dragon Ball Z, the real thing, I think, I think I'd feel
pretty special. And not that CN stuff, I mean the REAL thing, ooh, I just can't wait until Sunday, I'm gonna watch Dragon Ball Z...
I want to know if there is anyone there who is in the same spot as me,
who is powerless as I am, a stray lamb without a shepherd... (note how I use this often... you can tell I am a dreamer by how all my sentences trail off...) We can join to form a union of fans, we could utterly annihilate FUNimation, yeah, I'll get the boiling tar and you can get the feathers. It's the end of the line for FOOLimation, face it, they failed us. They got a chance to be great, and whenever someone watched DBZ, they could say proudly "That's work that we did, yeah, we bridged the gap between two worlds flawlessly" and we'd say "Tubular" (or some other word for cool, I don't by the way, say stuff like that, Yeck!) but they messed up and made an alternate dimension. If I ever met one of those guys, I'd sure like to send him reeling to "another dimension". You wouldn't have to bother to paint over the crater that would be left of him.
I'm, how do you say, extremely peeved that they
take us for fools that don't know sh-, er, crap about life, or death.
(whoops, I should have said "inter dimensional travel") There isn't
anything they cover up that we can't get from another channel. In my
house, there are nearly 80 channel just full of all that good stuff that FLAWimation assumes that nobody that is under the age of 20 knows about, well, I'm a good 9 years under 20 and I feel I'm mature enough to graduate from Barney to cartoons now. Hello! They aim it at 6-11 year olds, Ha!! It's much too childish for that, try out infants, or perhaps if you decide to be naughty you could sneak it in to fetuses inside their mother's
wombs!
So great is the original that even though I may know perhaps
one word in Japanese I don't need that to know the character's feelings, you ruin that with your perversified, capitalist, profit based
notions then I believe that you deserve to suffer! I know this is a
crazy idea and I doubt it would work, yet I believe there could be no
greater insult than to have all their fans stolen from them and have
unedited Dragon Ball Z shown in some other place! Then all their
efforts to make the new episodes would have been in vain, if you could
see the hideously evil grin on my face right now you'd be cackling
along with me, yet probably for a different reason. Remember "United we
stand, divided we fall", I mean, we ARE the viewers, right? We have the
control and we don't use it? What type of sense does that make? Had we
demanded, we would have what we wanted already, we could be basking in
the radiant glow of our victory, and F#CKimation would be whimpering with
it's tail between it's legs pleading for mercy. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha! Who is with me?
Remember: ONLY YOU CAN TAKE A HUGE CHUNK OUT OF FREAKIMATION'S @!~#% !
- Ron Burton |
   
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