December 31st There's nothing fun about this update.

Basically, I just changed a few of my underlying "policies" with regard to how I run the site, each of which will probably be met with either anger, sadness or indifference. No good emotions, at any rate. The bottom line is that these changes will make my life a lot easier. I have a lot less energy to devote to this site than I did when I started it, and I need to focus that energy on the essentials. The biggest change is something that I should have done long ago, and the time has finally come. Go to the Opinions section and read the new intro. When you finish with that, go to the FAQ page and read my updated answer to the "you didn't respond to my mail!" question. And read the NEW Q and A that I added underneath. Next, read the new links policy on the intro page. That's about it for now.

So... I picked up the History of Trunks DVD yesterday, and I was impressed. Dubwise, it was above average, and I thought that the music was a really interesting change of pace for FUNimation. I was absolutely floored by the song that was used for the last two scenes and the first half of the closing credits. Not that it was particularly great or relevant or any of that, but it was so... emotionally unprecedented. It brought an "adultness" to the dub that's never even been approached before, and captured a level of feeling that I've often gotten from the Japanese version, but never from the dub. I watched it about ten times, and then I downloaded the full song just to check it out more completely. A teary ballad about loss is actually a good choice for a closing theme to this special, and if the lyrics could have been rewritten to fit the story, it would have been truly awesome. Still, it was just so different than anything FUNimation has ever done that I really have to appreciate it nonetheless.

A responsible DBZ webmaster would have whipped up a review by now, but...well... yeah. You know. I'm going to wait until it airs on TV before doing a full-blown feature on it. How do I know it's going to be on TV, you ask? First, because FUNimation released both a cut and uncut version. That by itself doesn't necessarily mean the thing's going to be aired, but on the back of the uncut VHS, it states "Edited for Television." TELEVISION! Even if this wasn't the case, logic dictates that Cartoon Network will show it and "Bardock: The Father of Goku" at some point. They'd be stupid not to. Both specials are crucial to the series, they're ready to air, and will bring in hella ratings. I predict that at least one of them will be shown in either February or May (ratings sweeps months).

Speaking of ratings and such, I was totally surprised that FUNimation plowed through all 77 episodes of Season 4 in one fell swoop. I thought they'd pace themselves a bit and leave a few for later, but I guess not. The strangest part is that I seem to remember an interview in which Gen expressed his pleasure that FUNimation now had more power over how and when the episodes would air, and that he felt Cartoon Network went through Season 3 too fast. I think it was in one of the GameFan interviews (on the misc page) but I don't really feel like checking. In any case, the five Anoyoichibudokai episodes are coming to video in January, so maybe Cartoon Network will air one during each weekend in May or something, a la the Garlic Jr. Saga.

As for my overall thoughts on Season 4, there's really too much to say here, so I'll hold off until I'm ready to do the episode comparisons. Can you IMAGINE how long it's going to take me to get done with all of them? It boggles the mind, and makes me sad. I've already got some ideas for them though.

Yes... episode comparisons... why have I taken such a long "break" between the last Freeza episode and the Garlic Jr. Saga? A lot of reasons, actually. It started out as a break, but it's gone off in other directions. But the important thing to remember for those of you loyal to this site is that I always come back. I can be gone for months at a time, but I never give up entirely. Those of you who insist on worrying that I'm close to hanging up my hat should look at it this way: the Season 3 comparisons may have been "late", but I was almost caught up with FUNimation for a little while there. Of course, they've left me in the dust over the last four months and I now have a HUGE amount of work ahead of me, but I don't think it's unreasonable to say that I might catch up again by the time Season 5 starts. NO GUARANTEES THIS TIME, THOUGH.

To go completely off topic, I should answer another question that people have been asking me often lately. About my second eye operation, and whether or not I've had it yet. Yes, I had it. A couple of months ago in fact. I didn't want to announce it on the site this time because I got a LOT of attention over the first operation. While I deeply appreciated it, it also made me feel kind of uncomfortable. I didn't feel that I deserved all of the hubbub that was made, and I decided to let the second one go by quietly.

The new eyes are very cool, though, and I'm getting better with them every day. I actually had a huge boost in confidence just last week, in fact. When I was in Arizona, I went shooting for the first time since getting my implants, and I did much better than I ever have. With a .22 bolt-action rifle, I was able to hit a Coke can at almost 100 feet, while it was floating around in a lake. I also blew the hell out of a full can with a single barrel 12 gauge shotgun, and the carbonated joy went flying everywhere. The top of the can just vanished utterly. My shoulder hurt for days after firing that bitch a few times, but it was worth it. My performance with the .45 was terrible, but I don't think that was my eyes. .45's are notoriously difficult to aim.

I wanna take my brother's guns out now, but I will be dead if he finds out. He actually stores them at my house, because his current housemate has this ridiculous fear of firearms and won't allow them there. But my place isn't much better, really. My landlord's nosy, and I don't want him coming around and seeing assault rifles and tec-9's in the closet. What am I going to say? "Uh... yeah... they're my brother's... he calls that one Saddam, and this one's Ghetto Fabulous!"

Yes, my brother's a god damned nut. JUST LOOK AT HIM (right) AND HIS FRIENDS!

Hee hee, this is what he gets for never visiting my site. HE WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE!

Anyway, Happy New Year.

December 25th I certainly hope you are all feeling merry today. At the moment, I am at my mom's house in Arizona, engaging in Christmas cheer.

I decided that it was necessary to update, it is my present to the world. But considering the fact that none of you gave me anything, I'm not really going to give you anything either. This is just a "HELLO!!!!!!" update, and that's about it. I really hate "checking in" like this because of the terrible backlash that always ensues. Then again, if I DON'T check in, I'll get just as much harassment for not updating at all. It's a lose/lose situation, but I guess that's what I deserve for being an awful human being.

Aside from that, a special holiday update seemed merited because the Piccolo Santa Pic is kind of a tradition that I didn't want to break, even though just about every other DBZ site seems to be using the same (or similar) pic this year. Oh well, it seemed only right to put it up, even if the sentiment will only apply for a few more hours.

Some of you may have noticed that the link to the forum is now gone. I figured it was time since it's been shut down for over a month now. The truth is, I left the link up there for the sake of comedy. I like the idea of people coming and reading that big long intro/disclaimer about what a naughty place the forum was, getting intrigued, and then clicking on the link to find it locked down. It would either make you laugh or piss you off, which works in either case since those are the two main reactions I like to elicit from people.

And speaking of the forum, everything is fine now as far as the whole flooding/war/shutdown thing is concerned. I'm going to wrap everything up pretty soon with ANOTHER ESSAY (this one is even longer than the first), but I can't seem to ever get finished with it. And don't worry, this time it's a HAPPY essay (for the most part).

In any case, the forum is gone forever and I'm not going to make another one. If you would like to take a moment of silence to mourn its loss, now would be a good time.

And if you want to visit the new gathering place of the people who used to post on the Uncensored board, follow the link to Fagtown USA. Yes, Fagtown USA. I had nothing to do with the title, but it is definitely a GAY place indeed. It's pretty much the same as the Uncensored forum was, so go visit if that's the kind of thing you like. I'll put a link up when I overcome my fear of updating the links page. I definitely need to put one up for this baby.

Finally, I've taken down the "about me" page for retooling. It hasn't been updated in almost 3 years, and a lot of what's on there is either outdated or embarrassing. Also, way too many people have been downloading "that" picture of me and posting it elsewhere, and it's horrible.

But if you REALLY WANT the "about me" page back NOW, I suppose you could go here and sign the petition.

I don't know when I'll update again. I mean, really. Hopefully soon, but until that time, I think you should visit THE GREATEST RESTAURANT IN THE WORLD. Please go now, they are waiting to offer you freshness.

November 14th Oops. Two mistakes. First, I misdated my previous update. Second, the last paragraph of the editorial I put up yesterday came out a little wrong, so I have rewritten it. I forgot to add a rather important detail, and it's led to a misunderstanding. Please reread the very end, I think it will make a lot more sense now.
November 14th Read this

I'll see you all sometime in the future, I don't know when. You deserve more details than that, but I honestly have no idea when I'll have the time or interest to come back. Could be a week, could be three months, it all depends on factors that I can't predict.

September 27th Somebody farted. And I'm damned near positive it was Episode 107

That's it! The very last Freeza saga episode! FINALLY!

So... guys... yeah. How ya doin? I'm going to say something now, and you're probably not going to like it very much. You might call it "bad news" in fact. Anyway, I was thinking... the Season 3 marathon has been going for 24 consecutive days now, and I'm pretty damned proud of myself to be honest. I thought for sure that I'd miss at least one day in there somewhere, but I didn't. That being the case, and since the Freeza saga finishes as of today, I think I deserve a... little.... um... break. Perhaps you agree, or perhaps you don't, but whether or not I deserve it, I NEED A BREAK. OH GOD, DO I NEED A BREAK.

THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE... PERHAPS YOU'VE NOTICED THAT BY NOW! I AM SPENDING AN AVERAGE OF TWO TO THREE HOURS EVERY DAY WORKING ON THIS SITE! Yes, I like DBZ, and I like working on the ol' page, but they are both just a hobby. And I don't think many of you realize what a small part of my life this stuff usually is, and how much it has been getting in the way lately.

I need to stop for a few days, maybe as much as a week, and just recharge. Because if I keep going like this, the Garlic Jr. comparisons are going to look like the ravings of a madman. They will be the ravings of a madman, in fact. And a saga as fantastic and godly as the Garlic Jr. Saga deserves the utmost attention.

See? I HAVE gone loopy. I just used positive adjectives to describe the worst episodes in all of DBZ, which shouldn't even be done sarcastically. And that's kind of the thing... I want to be fully refreshed before I delve into the terrifying suckiness displayed in this hemorrhoid of a saga. And don't worry, once I return, I'll go back to the daily schedule until I'm finished.

I know you're all going to be tempted to complain about this, but how would you rather have your episode comparisons? Better or faster? I myself would rather have "better," so give me a few days to rest and "better" they will be.

September 26th Today I present the widescreen collector's edition of Episode 106. It's a really short comparison, and that's just too bad.

Don't you hate when someone steals your thunder? I was going to say something really funny in class tonight to break up a very monotonous discussion, but some mind-reading asshole beat me to it. Of course, immediately upon saying this funny thing, the laughing began. And then it got harder. Louder. People started asphyxiating and getting brain damage because they couldn't breathe from all the laughter. They fell out of their desks and started going into seizures. I heard this "pop" behind me and turned around to see that some guy's head had exploded. Immediately, all the girls wanted Mr. Hilarious, and all the men turned gay within seconds and wanted him too. IT WAS THAT FUNNY. I don't think anyone had walked into class prepared for such a sheer onslaught of humor.

OK, so all he REALLY got was one of those nice murmury chuckles. But I was still really jealous, and I'll be forever bitter that he stole my moment in the spotlight.

Also, I miss my kitties and I want a beer.

September 25th Episode 105 isn't feeling "fresh" today.
September 24th I'd gladly quit my Episode 104 habit if Miko Charbonneau would just talk to me again.
September 23rd A little piece of me died today. A piece I like to call Episode 103.

And by the way, some of you may already have figured this out, but here's a bit of advice for the rest: Lately I tend to be waiting until the last minute (literally) to update, it started out as simple smart assery, but has since become my pattern. My original intent was to put up the day's episode just after midnight the night BEFORE, so that most of you would be able to wake up and enjoy a new episode comparison along with your delicious breakfast. I'm running about 22 hours later than I intended, but either way, it's still pretty much happening around the same time. And for those of you unemployed serial killers who like to stay up until dawn staring with your bloodshot eyes at your monitor in a frantic search for internet porn (THE FORUM), you can always stop by this wholesome site for a brief reprieve in your unholy quest, knowing that there will be something NEW! And if you happen to live in some godforsaken land like... not America, then I guess it all depends on what kind of crazy hours you keep.

September 22nd The talented Mr. Episode 102.
September 21st Guys, I'd like you to meet my good friend Episode 101. Please don't ridicule him for being different.
September 20th I was going to put up Episode 100 earlier, but I was driven temporarily insane by my love for all humanity.

For those of you who keep emailing me begging me to destroy the forum, sorry, but I aint ready to do that just yet. Don't get me wrong, I acknowledge that it is indeed a horrible and disgusting place, and I often think that the time has come. But then I see stuff like this, and realize that the forum MUST live on because beautiful things still happen there. I'm going to rewrite the entrance page though, because I desperately need to put a warning up so that people will be prepared for the horrors they are about to witness.

September 19th You still don't GET it do you??? Episode 99 will find her. THAT'S WHAT HE DOES! THAT'S ALL HE DOES! YOU CAN'T STOP EPISODE 99!!!
September 18th LISTEN! And understand! That Episode 98 is out there! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity. Or remorse. Or fear. And it absolutely will not stop. EVER. Until you are dead.
September 17th Episode 97 is seeking psychiatric help to assist him in conquering his fear of committing to a more "long term" relationship.

Man, it's only 11:50! I'M WAY EARLY!

Last night while lying in bed I did a few rather difficult calculations in order to get to the bottom of an even more difficult question. These calculations involved such brain-melting feats as adding and subtracting; I even had to call upon a knowledge of fractions. After crunching numbers for about an hour, my stunning math abilities led me to the following conclusion: In about a week, I will have reached the halfway mark with my Season 3 marathon. A week. Halfway. A week until I am halfway done.

Upon coming to this revelation, I buried my head in my pillow and wept bitterly.

September 16th First, there came the Backstreet Boys. Then N'Sync. And now, Episode 96 is the sexy flavor of the moment.


September 15th (agayn) What exactly IS that horrible thing chewing on Episode 95?

Oh, and I told you it was going to be late, so shut up. I was actually planning on updating at exactly 11:59 PM (pdt) and then making fun of how I tortured you all while at the same time praising my own "cleverness" because I was still TECHNICALLY on time, but I couldn't *quite* get the damned comparison done. So basically, I'm updating on the 16th and that date is wrong, but I refuse to acknowledge how pathetically my plan backfired.

I had something of an interesting experience this evening. It all started late in the afternoon, when my boss called me from Oregon with a proposition. To my delight, he's currently vacationing there, although he's still making me work so I guess it's really not that fantastic of a thing. Anyway, he told me that he had left some concert tickets under the front door of his house that would go to waste unless someone claimed them. So if I was interested in going downtown on Saturday night to see Joan Osborne, this was my golden opportunity. That is, unless someone else got to the tickets first. Apparently, he had told a number of people about them, and odds were fairly good that someone would be there to pick them up before me. The race was on.

Now, I don't particularly care to know whether or not God is one of us, so the prospect of seeing Joan Osborne in concert wasn't exactly making me quiver with excitement. But this situation was one of those rare chances that life presents me with to be a complete little asshole just for the sake of being a complete little asshole, with no consequences whatsoever. I could go get the tickets, burn them, and thereby keep someone from going to the concert who really wanted to go. Then I could simply feign ignorance when my boss asked me who had come for the tickets, and no one would be any the wiser.

But my brother, who has once again decided to take up residence in my house, gave me an even better idea: I could go snag the tickets, wait for tomorrow night, and stand outside the concert to scalp them like a common street urchin. I would score some quick cash, and could then stroll down to Taco Bell to tackle the Grande Meal once again. I have only attempted the Grande Meal once, and I came away from the experience with two valuable nuggets of wisdom: First, that the Grande Meal will leave you VERY full. And second, that it will make you prone for several days to sudden and unpredictable bouts of explosive diahrrea.

I wasn't about to miss out on that.

So as twilight fell, I fired up the General and walked over to my boss' house, hoping against hope that a free Grande Meal was in my future. I approached his doorstep and lifted the mat to find an envelope which contained...


Either someone was playing the sort of joke on me that I would play on them, or my boss had mistaken a pile of coupons for Joan Osborne concert tickets. I wouldn't put either past him. Actually, he's not clever enough to even think of the first option, and plenty stupid enough to do the second, so I pretty much assumed that was it. But it was when I took a closer look at the coupons that I realized I had stumbled upon something far better than either concert tickets or a mere Grande Meal. These were not your everyday, run-of-the-mill "40 cents off your next oil change" coupons. Oh no. They were, in fact, some sort of super, magical coupons that would do no less than get me FREE FOOD at various fast food restaurants. They were all of the "buy one, get one free" variety; an Egg McMuffin for an Egg McMuffin, a Bacon Double Cheeseburger for a Bacon Double Cheeseburger, a Seven Layer Burrito for a Seven Layer Burrito. But perhaps my favorite out of all of these coupons were two from Wienerschnitzel which generously offered a "complimentary menu item" with the purchase of any other "menu item" of equal or greater value. Do you guys understand the implications of that? THE ITEM IS UNSPECIFIED! I CAN GET WHATEVER I WANT, AND GET ANOTHER ONE FREE! Man, the buy one "this" and get another "this" coupons were great, but the world is my oyster with those babies from Wienerschnitzel.

All I know is that it's going to be SOME TIME before I walk out of a fast food restaurant without having eaten at least two of something. And I have no idea what divine being left those coupons for my wandering soul to find, but that person is now more dear to me than Santa Claus himself.

September 15th No, the episode is not up yet. HA HA!!!

I'm just checking in, because I know how you all LOVE it when I do that. Thought I'd let ya know that today's episode won't be up until really, really late today, REALLY late. This is partly the fault of those of you who created a forum that is far, FAR too enjoyable. It's like a train wreck, I am forced to look. Only this is a train wreck that keeps happening over and over again every minute of every day, so I am forced to keep looking at it. You can also blame my lateness on my friend Mike for bringing over SNK vs. Capcom and Street Fighter III (which both needed to be played), my brother for just "stopping in" at my house like the bum that he is, my jobs for being necessary, and Smackdown for being...on.

Again, my advice to decent people with a sense of humor above that of a 12 year old (sadly, you are my betters), stay out of the forum, for God's sake. It has reached levels of depravity that I have never before seen on a board. And just when I think it's starting to calm down... off it goes again. Of course, if you ask me, every single post ever made on the forum should be printed out on photogloss paper, put into an airtight, leadlined container, and watched 24 hours a day by armed guards for as long as the human species continues to exist. Treasures like this must be preserved.

You'd think that I'd come to the realization that people calling each other gay over and over and over and over again is just incredibly stupid (or maybe... GAY?), and then I'd finally stop laughing like a madman, but I just can't seem to get to that point.

September 14th Episode 94 3:16

The forum.... yeah. You all want me to say something about the forum, don't you? I'm sort of at a loss for words, really. All I know is that there was a point late yesterday afternoon where I was laughing harder than I have in weeks.

My only advice to those of you who will venture in today for the first time... please be prepared. The debauchery seems to be increasing by the minute, and it is NOT appropriate for kids and such. Things seem to have calmed down a bit as I write this, but the "climate" seems to turn on a dime, and I have no idea where the hell that thing is going to go next.

Also, if the ABSURD rate of posting keeps up, by the end of the day (the third day), the number of posts will have far surpassed how many VegettoEX's "General" forum has gotten since its inception.

Don't ask me to explain this. In fact, don't even talk to me. I'm scared.

September 13th Episode 93 was quietly enjoying the gentle romantic comedy of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail" when his friends unexpectedly walked in. Episode 93 tried to stammer out an explanation for this overt display of effeminacy, but was drowned out by their mocking laughter, which continues to this very day. Poor Episode 93.

The message board is evil. EVIL!
Or...maybe it's the best thing ever. I suppose it depends on who you ask.

Like I said, I leave that to you guys. And while I have my preferences, I honestly don't care in what direction it goes. I'm just observing; it is my little anthropological experiment. What I saw yesterday was a beautiful mixture of chaos and order, of satire and misunderstanding, of laughter and disgust, and plenty of speculation as to some "backhanded dealings" on my part, and whether or not setting up an unmoderated board was "a good idea." I even got flamed! REPEATEDLY! Ah, it was a fantastic sight to behold. Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy seeing anyone get seriously hurt or offended, but just remember that none of this can get to you unless you let it. Please guys, try not to take yourselves and everything else so seriously. And have fun. You'll have a lot more... fun... that way. It's just a message board, for Kami's sake.

Some are already calling the board a disaster infested with idiots, while others are saying it's the most entertained they've been all day. I think it's a bit too early to be making any final judgments, because who knows what might happen with time? I don't really have much of an opinion one way or another, but here's something to think about: This board got twice as many posts, ON ITS FIRST DAY, as alt.fan.dragonball did in the same amount of time, and more than Ginga Giri Giri's general forum has in its entire existence. I'm not bragging or anything, but like I said, it's something to think about.

OK, I'll admit it, I am totally blown away. Almost 600 posts in less than 24 hours is... ludicrous. That's got to be some sort of record. Don't ever let it be said that a few "bad apples" don't liven up a party. Heh heh, my little plan seems to have worked out better than I ever could have imagined...

This may go on to become the most... insane message board ever. Someone should write an editorial for Ginga Giri Giri about how "insane" it is. Dear God, I'm starting to love it. And fear it. It has now become a force of nature that no one should dare trifle with.

September 12th Counting flowers on the wall... that don't bother me at all... Playing solitaire till dawn... with a deck of 51... Smoking cigarettes and watching Episode 92... Don't tell me, I've nothing to do.

ALSO! DBZ Uncensored now has a message board. If you really loved me, you'd post there.

September 11th I'd like to tell you all a little story, just for fun.

I started smoking a pipe about two years ago, which I haven't really said anything about save for a brief mention in a recent update. I don't smoke it more than once a week because I am not eager to get addicted to tobacco (or any other drug for that matter), and cancer is bad. My current pipe is of the little corn cob sort, and his name is General Jasper T. Beauregaurd. Every weekend, on either Friday or Saturday evening, the General and I like to take a little twilight stroll down to the beach because we are both very fond of twilight and consider it to be the greatest time of day. Actually, I'm not so sure the General likes it all that much, but as long as I'm sucking on his butt, he seems to enjoy any time we spend together.

Anyway, our final stop is a rather comfortable little bench that sits by itself atop a hill overlooking the ocean. It is there where I sit down to finish my smoke, and contemplate how wonderful the people who visit my web site are. Now, I love my bench even more than fried chicken, and it deeply pains me to see it used for evil. "Evil" being anyone sitting in it besides me.

And so it was with great sadness that I came upon my bench Friday night to find it infested with tourists. Horrible, horrible tourists. There they were, with their ridiculous khaki shorts, and their "oh, what a beautiful view!"s, just violating my sacred bench without a care in the world. I stood there and glowered intensely at them from across the street, but they paid no attention, so I just went home in despair.

But through my sadness and fury, I managed to write the comparison for Episode 91.

Later on, I thought about it a bit more, and I realized that I'd been a little selfish and elitist about the whole thing, and forgave the gentle tourists for their wrongdoing. As a matter of fact, I hope they enjoyed my bench just as much as I do. Because unlike me, they don't get to visit it every week and bask in its glory. Others deserve to experience what is perhaps the greatest bench on this Earth. Truly, it is a God among benches.

September 10th I'm going to ride Episode 90 all the way to Vermont... and freedom.

Also, I've gone back and added something to Episode 89. Something very crucial that I can't believe I forgot. Go down to the "side note" at the very bottom to learn what this gravely important thing is.

Sorry I was so late with the update today.

September 9th Hey you, get your damn hands off Episode 89.

And Episode 88 has been "modified" with some new info...

September 8th Cat loves Episode 88. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.
September 7th For the sake of the children, here's Episode 87.
September 6th Here she is, the lovely Miss Episode 86.
September 5th
(Love is here)
Now, it is FINALLY over, for real. Forever.

The guy from Cardcaptors Uncensored e-mailed me this morning and was very nice and understanding about our dramatic Labor Day battle through time and space. He erased all mention of yesterday's events from his site. I don't know, perhaps I should do the same, because leaving that stuff up kind of makes him look like a jerk, and he's probably a pretty nice guy if you don't go around asking people to mailbomb him. Plus, the whole thing makes me look like quite a pussy, causing countless visitors to lose all respect they may have had for me. I'll think about it. But maybe history should be preserved, to stand as a lesson to all?

In the end, the whole thing was just a big, horrible misunderstanding, with plenty of miscommunication thrown in for good measure. But at least it was enjoyable for all of you right? That's what really matters most.

My only regret is that, throughout all of this, I wasn't able to get him to mention Teen Wolf on his site at all. Not once. Between the two of us, we just might have been able to start a trend. Man, I love that movie, and whatever sacrifices I have to make to get that baby back into the public consciousness again are well worth it.

I love happy endings.

September 5th Like a phoenix from the ashes, so it is with Episode 85.

Oh, and the saga continues!

First, I returned his email. He then sent me a second which clearly indicated that he was not interested in hearing back from me. So I didn't reply. Then, I updated the site for the third time in one day, an update which, admittedly, started out a little sarcastic. Whatever, I always do that. Then I complimented his site and genuinely apologized, going as far as to call myself an "egomaniacal dickface." THEN I discussed the virtues of Teen Wolf, because it desperately needed to be done. Following that, I used Teen Wolf and then God himself, as a platform from which to satirize how much of a self-glorifying and arrogant jerk I had been over the whole situation.

Finally, I went to his site and saw him accusing me of not returning ANY of his e-mails (because I think I am "too important" to do so), and adding "more fuel to the fire" by (I can only assume) returning his e-mail, complimenting his site, apologizing profusely, flaming MYSELF, and satirizing how much of a self-glorifying and arrogant jerk I had been over the whole situation. Apparently a public apology (wherein EVERYONE was able to see me make an ass of myself for his benefit) is somehow inferior to an e-mail that only he would see. BUT AN EMBARRASSING PUBLIC APOLOGY AND SELF-FLAMING WASN'T ENOUGH! OH NO! IN FACT, IT SOMEHOW MADE MATTERS WORSE!

I am... stunned. I am absolutely mystified by this situation. The hostility and defensiveness of this person is like nothing I've ever seen before. I could send him flowers, buy him a house, save the life of each member of his family, be his personal slave for the rest of my life, and I have a feeling that each gesture would make me more and more of an asshole in his eyes.

Would you like me to pull down my pants and walk around with a dunce cap on my head shrieking "I WAS WRONG! I WAS WRONG! I WAS WRONG!" at the top of my lungs? Would you like me to stand naked and tied up in front of the Senate while you give a speech about my pathetic blindness and disgusting arrogance, and how you had the idea to do a site like yours LONG before you ever saw mine?

Let me say it, one last time, without an ounce of sarcasm or anything that might somehow be perceived as an insult, in big ridiculous bold letters that will immediately grab the attention of anyone who ever visits my updates page from now until the end of time:


Can this nightmare just end here and now?

September 4th
(the saga concludes)
I think the whole Cardcaptors Uncensored debacle is over. I went too far by asking you guys to e-mail bomb the webmaster and write bad things in the guestbook, and I am really surprised at myself for doing it because it's not my style at all to encourage that sort of thing. But he removed the insulting remarks, so as far as I'm concerned this whole thing is over and done with. It has all become clear now, he was in no way inspired by me. The title, the episode comparison format, and the strikingly familiar wording on his front page were all just a magical, dreamlike coincidence that can never be explained. And I am surely not deserving of the incredible love he bestowed upon me at the bottom of the FAQ. I was actually lucky to get a link, or even a mention of any kind.

OK, I'm sorry, I'll stop. Nice site, no hard feelings, that's it. And I really do feel bad for being an asshole about the whole thing. I am somewhat horrified at my actions, in fact. Or was I justified in some way? I don't even know anymore. The bottom line is that I feel like an egomaniacal dickface for even bringing it up and acting like I have some sort of divine monopoly on the concept of "uncensored" web sites. Besides, even if he did copy me, who REALLY cares? It was just a BIT of copying at best, and the vast majority of the site is his own doing. Oh for Nixon's sake, just shut up about it Chris.

Anyway, despite this emotional roller coaster ride that I have taken us all on, I'm still feeling pretty euphoric. As well I should, because Teen Wolf was on TBS Sunday night. Man, you've got to love Teen Wolf. For those of you unfortunate souls who haven't seen it, the story goes a little something like this: Michael J. Fox becomes a werewolf, but a nonviolent werewolf (this is a comedy), and the only thing the transformation does for him is make him really cocky and able to play basketball better than everyone else. And it also gives him the courage to surf and do handstands on top of a moving van. In the end, he must decide whether to use his wolf-enhanced basketball powers to win "the big game" or if he's good enough just being his normal self. It's a movie, no, a FILM, that teaches us all a little something about life... and living.

God damn, I want that thing on DVD. Widescreen edition, WITH commentary, deleted scenes, and a 30-page booklet. It deserves no less.

The only problem I have with that movie is that I came up with, and published, the idea of a werewolf surfing on top of a van before it ever came out. You guys should e-mail bomb Michael J. Fox and write nasty things in his guestbook.

And the sun? That was my idea too. God stole that from me.

September 4th
(update part deux)
Wow! Did I screw up or what?? Well it appears that the webmaster of CC Uncensored HAD linked to me on his FAQ page after all. I feel really horrible about the whole affair, and I realize now that the only reasonable course of action is to kill my entire family and then turn the gun on myself.

All sarcasm aside, I really am sorry I missed that, and if I'd known there was a link to my site anywhere on yours, I'd never have brought it up. It just looked quite suspiciously like you were trying to sweep me under the rug.

But I must say, it would have been a lot simpler to email me and just say "I think you missed this... I linked your site on the FAQ page." I would have gotten on my knees and apologized, we would have hugged passionately, and everything would have been right with the world. But instead you had to go and personally insult me, and that wasn't nice at all. Not that it really bothers me in the least, but I'm more concerned with how this reflects on you. Making fun of somebody's handicap makes you look like a very bad person. It doesn't exactly endear you to your readers, and certainly not mine. Your site is pretty swell and has a nice design, and it would be a shame if you alienated everyone by being a jerk. I don't think a simple mistake, a few negative guestbook entries, and (perhaps) some angry e-mail really justifies that kind of a reaction.

Anyway, sorry again. But come on... if you really didn't want your page associated with mine (which you obviously don't), then why in holy HFIL did you give it the exact same title, and several other suspicious likenesses? Be honest, you were obviously "inspired" by a bit more than just the word "uncensored."

Also, I've fixed episode 84, which I forgot to upload last night. I AM VERY, VERY STUPID, AND SHOULD DIE.

September 4th Let's keep this rager going with Episode 84.

And when you get done reading it (it's disappointingly short, let me warn you right now), I want you all to check out this mockery of decent behavior. Yes, Cardcaptors Uncensored. And unlike the fine upstanding young citizens at Sailor Moon Uncensored and Dragon Ball Uncensored, the villain(s) involved with this site have not credited me in the least with the idea, nor have he/she/they even linked to me. As much as I'd like to become a fat Italian mafioso leading an empire made up of websites comparing various dubbed anime to their original versions, that's just not going to happen if all of these sites don't pay their respects to Don Psaros. Also, I can't seem to become fat. Or Italian. It's quite unfair.

Anyway, I've seen people ripping off stuff from my site many times (anybody remember when my logo and menu images appeared at dragonballx.com?) and usually I just get flattered that someone would think that something I did was worth copying. But this is different... this site appears to be getting pretty successful, and it just doesn't seem right that someone should be rewarded for being thanklessly unoriginal. The hilarious irony continues as these people picked CCU for site of the week (an accolade they allegedly reserve for "sites with originality"), and elsewhere on the same page went on to complain about site piracy.

I don't want to see CC Uncensored shut down or anything, but I think I at least deserve some sort of acknowledgement on the site. I'll leave it to you guys to mailbomb them or something until they mend their dastardly ways. Oh, and be sure to sign the guestbook with ugly remarks, too. I'll be watching for those...

Thanks to Yakko8669@aol.com for bringing this to my attention.

Ha ha, a Greek Mafia boss. Grandpa (Kami rest his soul) would have been so proud of his little Christoforos.

September 3rd Well, it's begun!

The first day of my "Season 3 Marathon!"

Don't know about you, but I'M pretty excited. I started off by getting out the ol' pipe, having a few puffs (OF TOBACCO), and making myself a cup of coffee. The pipe worked well for me as always, but the coffee... see, I don't have a coffeemaker. All I have is coffee, and one of those filter-holder things. I don't even have any filters, so I had to use toilet paper. Oh God, it was the most horrible thing ever. The last few sips were almost entirely coffee grounds and soggy toilet paper bits. I was just so murderously desperate for energy that I didn't stop to consider the elementary physics of what I was attempting. Well, I guess I deserved the hideous results.

So what have I got to show for it?? Episode 83!

Also, I sort of added another link to the links page, just under that of Mike Payne and Psaturn's. See you tomorrow.

September 2nd OK.

Now I am ready to announce my plan.

Some of you may remember that in my second anniversary editorial, I made the guarantee that I would have all of the Season 3 episode comparisons done by the time Season 4 began to air on Cartoon Network. Season 4 begins Monday, and I have 35 episodes yet to do. That's a lot of work for one weekend. Needless to say, I'm not going to do it.

When I made that guarantee, I truly was stupid enough to believe that I would be able to live up to it. But there were a few factors that I didn't take into account, and stuff happened to me that I could not have anticipated. My problems were primarily centered around surgery and girls, among other things like my sister's wedding, an asshole of a computer, my 2 jobs, my backyard wrestling federation, laziness, etc. In short, I learned that it was impossible for me to keep up with the pace I maintained two years ago, when I had MUCH less stuff going on.

To make matters even more lame, someone at Cartoon Network decided to start Season 4 about a half a month earlier than they did last year by being really "clever" and doubling up the last three weeks worth of Freeza/Garlic Jr. episodes, further hacking away at the critical window of time I was setting aside for the comparisons.

So, basically, I'm screwed as far as my guarantee is concerned, and I apologize to all of you for that not working out. But hey, a "guarantee" isn't quite as solemn as a "promise" is it??? I always keep a promise... Anyway, my compromise is this: Starting tomorrow, I will do one new episode EVERY DAY until I finish the damned things. Following that... who knows? School starts for me on the 22nd, and I'll be well into the quarter by the time I get done with all of Season 3. So don't expect me to go sailing right into the new ones without a hitch, because I'll probably take a break around then. But I feel like the daily update for the next month or so is the only way for me to make up for not doing what I said I was going to do, no matter how much of a pain in the ass it may turn out to be for me. And I may just miss a few days every now and then, but I will try my very hardest not to.

And finally, for those of you who decided that it was necessary to complain about me not updating Wednesday, kindly go somewhere and die. That was a rough estimate at best, as suggested by the "Wednesday or so." Most of you will see this on Saturday morning (the "or so" of reference), which REALLY isn't far enough removed from Wednesday to justify your bitching. I've added a q and a to the FAQ to specifically address you update whores, so please take a look at it.

Wow, that whole thing sounded really negative and condescending, didn't it? Sorry, but I feel all "stoic" and "determined" right now, and it's affecting my normally jocular disposition. Rest assured, I'll be happy and wacky by the next time I update.

Anyway, see you TOMORROW!!! I PROMISE!!!

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